Stikkord: E-post

Hi Erik,

Thanks again for your message. Of course, our premium

re-write service will always be available to you should you decide to go ahead

with it at a later date.

We do have example CVs, and I have attached one to this message

– we don’t automatically provide them because it is never a good

idea to create your CV around a template. Our writers never work from templates

but create each and every CV from scratch. However, it does illustrate several

of the points I raised in my critique and I hope it helps.

Please let me now if you have any further questions.

Kind regards,

David

---

From:

Erik Ribsskog [mailto:eribsskog@gmail.com]

Sent: 23 April 2010 17:52

To: David Emmerson

Subject: Re: Your CV Critique

Hi,

that's very fine.

Maybe I can get a loan in the bank, or something, we'll see, then I'll

most probably contact you back.

If not sure if you want any feedback, regarding this, but if you do, then I

think it could have been fine, to link to eg. link to examples of CV's which

are done right.

Just a thought, in case you want any feedback.

Regards,

Erik Ribsskog

On Fri, Apr 23, 2010 at 3:17 PM, David Emmerson <DEmmerson@theladders.com> wrote:

Hi Erik,

Thanks very

much for your response. I readily appreciate that £299 can seem a lot when

unemployed. I’m glad to hear you are set on improving the CV yourself,

since it really doesn’t do you justice in its current state. As I said,

the CV is too long, and full of autobiographical information that will be of

little account to recruiters since it doesn’t tell them how your

experience and skills will deliver the results they need.

It is

important to keep in mind the benefits of working with one of our professional

writers. At any level, it can be difficult to write effectively about yourself,

and this is especially true when writing a senior-to-executive level CV, which

has to perfectly convey the depth of your experience and also compete against

many other top-tier candidates.

With our

premium service, rather than improving a document yourself that you hope will prove good enough to get you an

interview, you will be working with a specially-selected writer who creates

£50k+ CVs for a living and has been doing so for over ten years. We can deliver

you an outstanding top-tier CV that does full justice to your career and

skills.

We have a

proven success rate. 77% of members who have their CVs rewritten by our writers

report immediate contact from recruiters. In this respect, the service is an

investment that can very quickly pay for itself.

However, I

fully appreciate your immediate your concerns over the immediate outlay.

Ultimately, the decision rests with you, and I completely respect whatever you

choose to be best for you and your CV at this time.

Please feel

free to contact me on: 0207 148 7154, or at: Demmerson@theladders.com

with any further questions or concerns that you may have.

With kind

regards,

David

---

From: Erik Ribsskog [mailto:eribsskog@gmail.com]

Sent: 22 April 2010 23:57

To: David Emmerson

Subject: Re: Your CV Critique

Hi,

I'm unemployed at

the moment, unfortunately, so I can't afford to pay as much as £299, for a CV

now, unfortunately.

But I'll try to rewrite my CV myself, and then if I get more founds, I can get

back to you later, to get help with my CV, if that's alright.

Thank you very much for good feedback!

Yours sincerely,

Erik Ribsskog

On Thu, Apr 22,

2010 at 4:28 PM, <cvservicesteam@theladders.co.uk> wrote:

Professional

CV Critique

Prepared

specifically for Erik Ribsskog

Dear

Erik,

My name

is David Emmerson and I thank you for selecting TheLadders for your CV review.

I have reviewed your document and prepared some comments that I hope will give

you some insight. Keep in mind I am reviewing your document as it relates to

the needs and demands of the executive employment market. We stay in tune with

what recruiters and hiring managers want and need in a CV and our experience in

working with executives is unmatched.

Before I

begin the critique, I do need to warn you about my style since my comments can

seem rather direct, though I mean no offence. The reality is that the job

market is very competitive now – particularly within the current economic

climate – so I find it beneficial to be upfront rather than subtle or

agreeable.

Please go

through the critique carefully. You will see at the end that I recommend our

premium CV rewrite for you, which can be purchased using this link (details

follow after the critique):

https://www.theladders.co.uk/order-confirmation?billId=20609&sign=y&et_id=84201004&sign=y

Let's get

started! It will help to have a copy of your CV nearby for reference as I make

comments.

SUMMARY/INTRODUCTION

Let's

start right at the top. First, don't open your CV with tags like

‘Personal Profile.' Every recruiter worth his or her salt will know it's your

profile statement when they read it. Instead, begin your CV with a career title/tagline to announce

yourself and provide a clear focus for your readers. It will present you in a

much stronger light.

Your

introductory section is too long

– containing far too much information than is necessary to establish a

connection with your reader. It gives the impression you are trying to cover

all the possible bases, making the document hard to read and digest

quickly. This is perhaps the most important section – employers will often

make their decision on whether or not to proceed with the CV while reading this

section. So you must do better! An effective summary is focused on

prospective employer's needs and outlines how your past can benefit their future.

It is supposed to provide a quick

overview and needs to be streamlined to make the most important facts about you

stand out right away.

Additionally,

I recommend pulling some of your higher skills out into a separate Core Competencies subsection underneath

the summary. This is a great strategy. It serves as a keyword-rich area that

enables your CV to be quickly found on the internet, while showcasing your

unique strengths to the reader. Therefore, carefully compile a succinct list of

industry-specific individual excellences, and add it to your CV.

CONTENT

As I

digest your CV, not much is jumping out to announce it is the CV of a

high-calibre professional. It is not

highlighting your experience level or skill-set as well as it could. I can see

you clearly have the impressive experience and credentials, but you must

display all you have to offer in a clearer and more accommodating way for your

reader. This will become clearer as we continue.

From the

way your work history is worded, you seem to be more of a ‘doer' than an

‘achiever'. Too many of your job descriptions are task-based and not result-based, meaning they describe

what you did, not what you achieved. To be effective and create

excitement, it needs to be results-based: What was achieved as a result of what you did? Employers are

looking for quantified results. They want to know you have solved problems

similar to theirs and that you achieved the results for which they are looking.

Look at these:

– I have

a Norwegian blog, http://www.johncons-mirror.blogspot.com, that I've been

working on, since I started with it, on my spare-time, in the summer of 2007.

– Working

as a freelancer, doing research on Scandinavian companies in the packaging-industry

for a database, www.packagingdatabase.com,

on behalf of Packaging Europe, Norwich

– Chinese

Food Delivery in Oslo West and Bærum, part-time

What you

have here is just job description, and this is going to be very similar to the

CV content of many other

qualified candidates. Be proud of your accomplishments

and allow them to shine through your job descriptions.

Another

problem is that your work history

is not presented properly. The paragraph format or ‘chunks of text' almost assure the

reader won't read it. Where are your bullet-points? These will allow the

most important accomplishments to be highlighted. Remember, a CV is read

differently – the summary is read and then the rest of the document is scanned

quickly with job titles, bullet statements, and other highlighted material

being read first. Total reading time is about 45 seconds. If a CV can't be read

that quickly, it won't be read.

You have

also taken your work history too far

back in time by going all the way back to 1979. Employers

are generally interested only in the past 10-15 years experience because it is

what is most relevant to the challenges they face today. If you are concerned

about showing depth, there are ways a professional writer would truncate your

older experience while still showing you have good background upon which to

draw.

Further,

while a traditional technique, having your referees on the CV is falling from

favour. Privacy and

identity theft have become significant issues and it is always best to protect

the details of your referees. Employers don't need this information at so early

in the recruitment process and you are putting private information into

circulation that should not be in the public realm without caution. Provide

these upon request by the employer.

MECHANICS

Moving

on, the language of

your CV could use extra attention. At the moment, it does not position you as a

leader in your area of expertise. The words and adjectives you use are too low-level in tone to successfully

promote your abilities and place you above the competition.

Firstly,

I am sorry to say that I did detect some typing

errors in your CV, such as: ‘90's' – it is incorrect

to have an apostrophe here. There are also numerous syntax errors where you

have used commas incorrectly. In most cases, a recruiter will automatically

discount any CV that is less than flawless, particularly at executive level.

Attention to detail is paramount, and there really is no room for mistakes.

There is

a lower level tone echoing throughout the CV because your writing switches

between active voice and passive voice

throughout the document. To be effective, a CV should be written in active voice. Indicators of the

passive voice are ‘responsibilities included,' ‘responsible for,'

‘duties included,' ‘served as' or noun phrases tied with

prepositions such as ‘quality member of' or ‘representative of.'

The active voice is more natural, direct, vigorous and emphatic – traits you

want your CV to have in tone. The use of passive voice weakens your CV. An

example of this in your CV is: ‘I was also responsible for the job of

packing the bags of screws'

Next, I

must point out that professional CVs are written in a technique called ‘tight writing', or verb phrases, where the

subject is generally understood rather than voiced. Articles (the, a, an) are

minimally used in tight writing and only the core message is voiced. You have

used these articles and some long phrases to describe your roles and

achievements, and sadly you are disguising the very information an employer

needs to see! You have to reduce the "clutter" of extra

words so that your many credentials can be seen more

clearly. This is just not doing you any justice, and it makes your

CV appear amateur. Additionally, you use personal pronouns ("I,"

"me," "my," etc.) which is awkward and incorrect

syntax.

Remember

that communication

is the number one skill that has the most impact on your promotion, retention

and performance. However, there is much

more to a great CV than just cataloguing your career history and getting pretty

words down on paper. Great communication is knowing what the reader is seeking,

knowing how to get your message across succinctly, and knowing how to create

clarity in your message. If you are not communicating well in your CV,

recruiters will assume you are not a good communicator in person.

DESIGN

I think

the design of your CV could benefit a lot

from a calculated modification. I mentioned the over-usage of chunks of text earlier which is both

textually and structurally problematic.

Within

your work history, keep in mind that the ideal

job description 1) gives a line of job title and company

description; 2) briefly summarises your duties in paragraph format; and then 3)

uses bullet-points for your accomplishments and results, so as to maximise

their impact. Make sure that the bullets are reserved for the most important,

results-based information only.

Your CV

is simply too long

to be effective. It's as though you couldn't decide what to include, so you

included everything. As a result, your CV runs at an inappropriate six pages.

With the use of proper design elements and formatting you can make a succinct

and commanding two-page CV. You have some difficult decisions and careful

consideration ahead, but you must remember that a two (or at very most three)

page CV is the only kind that will be considered.

On

another note, the Times New Roman font

you are using is not the most desirable. When hiring managers are reading

through dozens of CVs, they will spend more time on one that has an

‘easy-to-read' font. We are constantly polling companies for feedback on

what they want in a CV and believe it or not the font you use is a big deal! The preference of most

employers is a Sans Serif font such as 'Arial' in size 10.

Your CV

overall lacks the polish

and appearance of an executive CV. Using a run-of-the-mill design in your CV

hurts your candidacy; you end up fading into the pile of hundreds of others

instead of standing out. I highly

recommend a more professional look-and-feel to the document to provide a more

executive impression. So much can be done with the formatting and design to

improve first visual impressions while still maintaining a conservative

appearance.

OVERALL

IMPRESSIONS/STRATEGY

It is clear

to me that you possess the quality of skills, experience and qualifications

that are required for a job of an executive calibre. However, your CV does not

do you justice in reflecting this – it is too long, containing too much

unnecessary information and not enough important info about he roles you have

had. It is important to consider today's economic climate. Coming out of a

recession, job searches are at an all-time high with hundreds of qualified

applicants per vacancy. With job hunting so maddeningly competitive, you cannot

allow your CV to be anything less than amazing.

I

recommend that you make use of a more executive

CV, one that demonstrates your accomplishments and skills in a more strategic

way. Give employers what they want to see, and set yourself apart from the

hundreds of CVs against which you are competing. Remember that only the best CVs (not candidates) get

attention, and eventually an interview.

Of

course, this does not mean that you are not a good candidate. Rather, the way

that your CV presents

your career is not yet very effective or exciting to the reader (who has

typically read 100+ CVs before getting to yours).

It may be

some comfort to know that there are options available in this difficult time.

TheLadders offers an outstanding Executive

CV re-writing service, allowing you to relax in the

knowledge that your CV will dynamically and professionally stand out from the

crowd. We have a group of skilled writers who specialise in executive

industry-specific CVs. They have extensive experience crafting CVs to best

showcase the qualifications that employers consistently look for from top-tier

candidates.

Below, I

have listed information that I feel will be of interest to you about our

process, the ROI of working with our writers, and pricing. For any

further information, please don't hesitate to e-mail me:

DEmmerson@theladders.com

GETTING

THE INTERVIEW

There are

two things to consider here:

1. You

are a premium member of TheLadders.co.uk

because you've got the valuable experience, the superior skills, the unique

qualifications and, most importantly, the drive to get to that next level.

2. On

paper, your wording and presentation are not up to standard. Your CV does not generate enough excitement and

professionalism for you to be considered a top candidate.

These

elements combine to make you a prime candidate for a CV re-write. We are here

to make your job search easy

and successful! To this

end, it is crucial that your document looks as impressive as you do, and that

you do not lose

potential interviews in the process.

Only the best CVS – not candidates – get the

most attention and eventually an interview. You are clearly a very strong

candidate but this is simply not enough to get the interview. Do not forget

that at the application stage, the CV is the only representation of you that

employers have.

A lot of

people, like you, struggle to put themselves down on paper effectively – but

that's where we come in. We are experts

at knowing the best way to present you. Most competing professionals employ the

services of professional CV writers, leaving a disadvantage for those who make

the attempt alone. It is similar to trying to take on a home improvement

project: it is simply far too difficult and time-consuming to do on your own.

OUR

PROCEDURES (simple but highly effective)

Our team

is an elite group of skilled professionals. Each of them is a Certified

Professional CV Writer (CPRW) with years of experience in effective executive

CV/cover letter preparation, branding, and career marketing strategies. Each

has CV expertise in at least one Ladder. We provide customised critiques and

CVs based on your specific

professional needs. Our CV-writing team has prepared more than 25,000

results-oriented executive CVs with an unparalleled level of success. Our

service, credentials, and experience are unmatched in the industry.

When you

decide to take advantage of our CV writing service you can expect the following

process:

1. You

will be contacted by a CV writer from TheLadders CV Team within the next 10

business hours. The writer will send you a set of worksheets to fill out. These

usually take 1-3 hours to fill out.

2. Once you

have returned the worksheets, the writer will, if needed, schedule a phone call

with you to ask for more information.

3. The

writer will then produce a first draft within 5-7 business days, and you will

communicate any changes required to the writer.

4. The

writer and you will work together over the email and/or phone until a final

draft of documents is produced.

PRICING

AND FREE COVER LETTER OFFER

The

investment to create your CV is £299. Remember, a CV that gets you a position

is priceless. If it shortens your job search by one day, or results even in a

1% increase in compensation, it pays for itself. An ineffective CV can cost

thousands of pounds in lost time, income, and opportunity.

Limited-Time

Bonus: If you purchase the CV within the next 7 days,

we'll write the cover letter for free (worth £70)! This is a limited-time

offer so you must click the link to purchase within the allotted 7 day

timeframe.

In order

to purchase these services, you must first be signed in to your Ladders

account. Click the link below and we will send you the materials to get

started.

https://www.theladders.co.uk/order-confirmation?billId=20609&sign=y&et_id=84201004&sign=y

TRUST

IN OUR CREDENTIALS

You will

be in excellent hands working directly with our team. This is your chance to

work with the best executive CV writers in the world, some of whose credentials

include:

• Certified Professional CV Writer (CPRW)
• Internationally Certified Job and Career
  
  Transition Coach (JCTC)
• More than 200 CVs/cover letters published in 20
  
  career books
• VIP Contributor to High-Level CVs (Career Press)
• Master Career Counsellor
• Licensed Professional Counsellor
• Certified Personal Brand Strategist
• Certified Online Identity Strategist
• Masters of Business Administration
• Certified Six Sigma Black Belt

I hope

that my critique has given food for thought and helpful advice. Please contact

me on: 0207 148 7154 with any questions or concerns you may have.

Kind

regards,

David

Emmerson

Executive CV Analyst

TheLadders.co.uk

134-138 Borough High St

London SE1 1LB

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